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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Modern loneliness


Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth.
For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures,

and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.- Francis bacon


Studies indicate that loneliness is increasing in spite of incredible communication advancements over the past decade. Isolation is far more than a social misfortune, it is a significant problem of health and happiness that is distinct from but contributes to the likelihood of depression.

In surveys to determine the factors that contribute most to human happiness, respondents consistently rate connection to friends and family-love, intimacy and social affiliation first, above wealth and fame.

Nowadays we're seeing an incredible retreat into virtual worlds. People spend time staring at their monitors more than ever before. This may imply less human interaction, less touch, less accountability, and less human connection. That can be a sure sign of loneliness. In fact, the use of social media sites, when gone unchecked, can actually exacerbate feelings of loneliness, because they remind the user of how little interaction they truly have with others.

Social Networks make a lot easier for people who are shy or socially awkward to communicate with others. This might help to prevents loneliness. But reality is complex. The Web provides large amounts of connection points; people who are truly isolated might end up over-using them. Besides connections might increase in number but not in quality – says John Cacioppo.

With email, communication is instant. And "kissing on that first date" is now more common. Within a couple of emails you are told intimate details you would be embarrased to tell anybody else. Those seem to be desperate attempts to satisfy the need for real human contact.

A recent research by Stepanikova concludes that more time browsing and communicating online appears to be linked with more loneliness, the two even increase together over time. However, it is important to appreciate that we don't know the direction of causation. Increased loneliness may well encourage people to spend more time online, rather than web time causing loneliness. Or some other factor could be causing both to rise in tandem.

88 comments:

Val said...

There is a whole generation of people in the western world who do not know how to be alone and who avoid spending time with just themselves. The internet is probably just one way of acting out this fear of being with oneself. Why are people afraid to be alone? Probably conscience and lack of self love based on behaviour with those they have interacted with in the real world. Poor self esteem is likely the real culprit and then of course the real question should be, why are there so many people filled with self loathing? Excellent post Mariana, I thoroughly enjoyed it and there has been an empty space in my reading, with you taking these breaks from writing. hugs

Jm Benavidez Estoque said...

The things that you've discussed are very true.

As of my part, I honestly admit that I am solitarist person, a loner... and it is due to this social networking sites and chatrooms that I used as to fill-up/cover-up my 'scarce' social interrelationship with others.

But due to this, I think we can not also deny the fact of the positive things that we can get from 'these' as well.

As for my part, I think that it is due to these things that it made me build up confidence as I am now dealing with real people even in outside the virtual world! :)

Jim Murdoch said...

I have lived alone three times in my life and each time for an extended period. The first time was before home computers, during the second I had a computer but there was no Internet yet and by the time the third time arrived the Web was becoming a part of our everyday lives but the word ‘blog’ was still unknown.

Without a doubt my third experience of being alone was the easiest to bear. Within a very short time I was exchanging lengthy e-mails with people who had similar interests. The days passed very quickly. This doesn’t mean that I didn’t yearn for some interaction in the real world – so much of our communication is non-verbal – but I could’ve made the effort if I’d wanted to supplement my online company.

I actually have very little contact with people in the real world these days. Okay, I have a wife and so I’m never lonely in that way, but I’m surprised by just how little I don’t miss interacting with people. The simple fact is that for most of my life I’ve felt like an outsider, never quite fitting in (or only fitting in by suppressing part of who I was) and it’s good to be able to jump into a ‘real conversation’ like this, add my tuppenceworth and then move onto the next one. It’s efficient. And I like efficiency. In the real world people take too long getting round to things, pussyfooting around the issue. And I’ve never been fond of – or very good at – small talk.

To comment on Stepanikova’s claim, my only question would be: What kind of browsing were these people doing? I know when I just follow any old link to see where it takes me I can get pretty bored quick – there’s a lot of rubbish out there – but when I’m browsing with a purpose (usually research) then I get sore before I get bored and have to do something elsewhere.

Charles Gramlich said...

I think some of the loneliness people experience with online socializing is due to comparing their lives with others. When we aren't interacting with others we don't compare our wealth, our lives, our successes with others. Comparisons are a problem, and that's exacerbated online because many people don't tell the whole truth about themselves and their lives.

tipota said...

marianna, this is very eye-opening. and i think loneliness is widespread "ah look at all the lonely people". in some ways loneliness tests the spirit, or offers a silence. that would be more like "alone" than "lonely" which carries the sense of longing. i think the longing is beautiful but also can be haunting.
i think perhaps the rise in tandem may be an evolution of some sort to a stronger focus on the cerebral, a trend towards crossing the globe in ether, or of a wider perspective - some kind of quantum leap
not necessarily a downfall

Diego Cena said...

A harsh time for those of us whom does not know how to be alone.

~otto~ said...

I used to hate being alone. Now I enjoy it. But I also make a point to see friends, etc, and I really have little taste for social networking sites. We all need to be touched. Hugs are great. So are kisses.

Paul said...

Tis true. I have noticed it in myself. I keep telling myself to do something about it, but nothing ever comes to mind and it is far easier to sit in front of the computer and doodle. The world is fracturing.

JanetK said...

What a good topic! I like to be with people and also value time that I have alone. If I have too much or to little of either, I am a little unhappy.
But my happiness also depends on the nature of my social and my solitary life. I need love, security, stimulation, constructive things to do and on and on. I do not always have to get these from the same place.
Right now my only constant company is my husband (but he is good company) and all other contact with family, friends, acquaintances is long distant and usually electronic. So I rely on the web for many types of contact that I would normally have in person. I would not say that it was lonely, more contented. So I am thankful for the web.

Jason Gusmann said...

of course i appreciate tipota's very optimistic view of all this, and in some ways it echoes jg ballard's, in just the transition/becoming of the next is painful. HOWEVER, being a depresso/weirdo/isolationist in some ways i think the new technology makes it too too easy to be alone without being alone and there should be some instigator/inspirator to actually get out of the house and somehow CONNECT

Rick said...

Hello, Mariana! I've been off into my own virtual world finishing the last bit of my new novel, and after reading this post, I have to say that writers have been doing this for years. But now the rest of the world is sharing in the experience and I'm not at all sure its turning out all that well for them. What do you think?

Id it is said...

A very thought provoking post Mariana...I need to introspect before I comment...

Lucy in the Sky said...

The world outside is changing. We humans are becoming more and more individualistic. We feel safer at home behind a screen. No one can hurt us, or can they?

geek said...

Social networking can indeed be seen as maybe a "catalyst" of loneliness. And it removes humans from real connections. But for some who have nowhere else to find social connection, socializing online is the only way. Sometimes it's better to be alone than to really be lonely.

J said...

Mariana,

I don't know if you are implying that you are getting lonely from too much computer time. You live in one of the world's most populous cities, are the people of Buenos Aires easy to talk to and get along with?

Harlequin said...

I loved the quote and the post. As usual you provoke and resonate with uncanny simultaneity.
I am so much more comfortable being alone with my own thoughts these past 25 years, less so the previous 15 or so....
and I suppose that is one of the stark differences that your post opens up, that profound distinction between being lonely and being alone.
I can say without much doubt or hesitation that most of my lonely is linked to particular absence, that is, the absence of a particular someone. My online communities, while not numerous, are well chosen and, so far, at least, meaningful. Perhaps it is the escape into a cyber void that is more akin to the loneliness you write about so poignantly in your post.
wonderful comments as well
thanks

Rob Bryanton said...

Hi Mariana, I thought of you yesterday when I read this article in Wired:
http://www.wired.com/magazine/2010/05/ff_nicholas_carr/
Then when I came here and saw your new blog entry it seemed to tie in even more.

Your blog's "About Me" question - about thinkers who do not know how to think - also relates very nicely to this article, which suggests that our brains are being re-wired to be more easily distracted by the online experience of hyperlinks and multiple streams of incoming data. Some convincing research and thought-provoking ideas in this article, check it out!

"Modern Loneliness" may well relate to the ideas in that article - if our brains are being re-programmed by the online experience towards a preference for skimming the surface, then we have to find ways to counteract that with meditation, with reading books, with valuing our personal interactions, finding ways to bring focus and depth into our day to day lives. Fortunately the brain is very plastic, and quite willing to behave differently in different situations, so with practice we can keep these two kinds of interaction going within our lives and find the usefulness of each.

Fond regards,

Rob

/t. said...

food,
sleep, sex...

computer, browser, adsl...

light, love, blogger!

× × ×

/t.

Tape said...

"All the lonely people, where do they all come from?
All the lonely people, where do they all belong?"
Creo que las personas que no resisten su soledad no tienen un mundo interior bien alimentado.
Isolation is not a social misfortune, isolation is a natural state of peace of mind.
I dare you all to find yourselves. =)

Bryan Borland said...

Loneliness is increasing in some cases BECAUSE of the incredible communication advancements over the past decade. What counts as "real" interaction? Texting? Tweeting? Cybersex? None of these?

Mariana Soffer said...

Dear all:
First of all I want to thank you very very much for the wonderful insights and reflections you shared with me here. Most of them where really profound and thought provoking.
Second and last I wanted to apologize cause I had not had the time to answer your wonderfull comments till now, dough I really wanted it was impossible for me, I was swamped by work at the time.
Thanks once again and hope you can still catch up with my replies

Mariana Soffer said...

Val:
You are right in your observation regarding people who can not deal with being alone. I think one of the main causes for this behaviour/state many people are going trough is fear (well you said it later on), people are afraid to death to face themselves, they are terrified, why this happen I think is related to modern lifestyle and also to the things you mentioned. I guess the fear to the unknown plays also an important role here.
Self loathing seems to be an epidemic nowadays, how did this happen, I can not figure it out, but is hideous. I would like to explore the subject more thoroughly, so any reflections about it are more than welcome.

Thank you very much for your lovely and kind words val, they are always a great comfort for me.
Love
m

Mariana Soffer said...

Jm Benavidex Estoque:
Glad you find this accurate and that you share here your personal experience and insights. Interesting to get to know more from you and how this hole new communication channels actually resulted usefull for improving certain aspects of your life, I am happy about that.
Thanks a lot for sharing and for stepping by

Mariana Soffer said...

Jim Murdoch:
Dear friend, I enjoyed a lot getting to know a little about your past and reading about your personal experiences with the different kinds of communications.
I think you have managed to obtain great benefits from this new ways of communications respecting your own personality. You learned to use them to fulfill your needs given your personal characteristics.

Regarding your claim, I think a large amount of people do not respect their own real needs and desires that go according to their personalities, therefore the use of this new technologies tend to backfire on them pretty often.
Thank you very much for your interesting comment.

Mariana Soffer said...

Charles Gramlich:
I agree that comparing onselve with other's is not a very good idea. It often leads to disgrace. And you are right that this is emphasized due to the fact that most people show themselves according to what they want others to think about them; which is usually a more succesful person that in reality.

Mariana Soffer said...

tipota: Thanks for the compliment my dear friend (the beatles where right I guess, in that an in many other thing's as well).
I agree that being alone is a kind of test, which only wise people can face properly.
I like your hopefull idea, I kind of agree with it, dough humanity has many hurdles that can step in the middle, but anyway I tend to think on the more hopeful side here.
It has been great to see you here, I like your spirit, it is fullfilling to me.
cheers

Mariana Soffer said...

Diego cena:
Welcome to the commenting zone!
It is an excelent sentence the one that you said.
Be well

Mariana Soffer said...

otto:
I am a pretty lonesome person myself, dough I can be sociable at periods as well.
To me is also fundamental touching and hugging, but I guess it does not work like that for everybody.
Thanks for sharing what you think

Mariana Soffer said...

Paul:
Many times it seems to be like you say, Is like emptyness is expanding and nothing is worthwhile. But this could be a phase, or a trick we got trapped in. We need more carefull examination and thoughts on this subect in order to combat when it seems to be like it.

Mariana Soffer said...

JanetK:
Glad you liked the topic, I really like it too.
Regarding the first thing you said, I think that balance, like the one you described, is key.
It is also true that we have several need we need to fulfill in order to be well, and the way we can do this is not always equal, it can vary the person, the place, the way, but what is important is that we get what we need in the end.
I am really happy to hear that you have good company, not many people have the luck of having it. Also different people have different need, for some one or two persons is enough, I see this often in people who are passionate about what they do in life, cause they are also fulfilled by it.
Thanks for stepping by and sharing this.

Mariana Soffer said...

Jason Gusmann:
is excelent this part of your text:"makes it too too easy to be alone without being alone " it seems paradoxical but it is not.
Regarding the instigator you might find it in the net, who knows, everything is possible my friend.

Mariana Soffer said...

Rick:
Hello mr writer.It is good you finished the novel, that is always the hardest part of writting a book, the real closure of it.
You are right about writers, I have not thought about it, but I had in mind how some people use to exchange many letters not that long ago.
Regarding your question I agree that for some people the experience is not going well, I guess this is due to the fact that there are different kind of people with different personalities, and some are more suited for this kind of communication than others. Therefore each person should use this according it's needs.

Mariana Soffer said...

ID It IS:
Glad it made you think. Take your time to wonder arround your thoughts, you might get some interesting insights about this.

Mariana Soffer said...

Lucy in the Sky:
Sadly that seems to be the tendency. The problem is we are avoiding more and more taking risks, specially the one of being exposed to feelings (any kind of). I think that by doing this we are loosing the magic that involves living for real. We are choosing comfort above everything.

Mariana Soffer said...

geek:
Hello my friend, how are you? hope your things are great.
Regarding online connections, I belive it has it's good side and it's bad one as well. It all depends on how and what we use them for.
Being alone can be great for real. Loneliness is a complete different thing.

Mariana Soffer said...

J:
I am not getting lonely, indeed I think I am engaging in more close and fulfilling relationships lattely. I wrote this mostly due to what I see.
Regarding living in BA I can tell you that on one side it is like every big city, you can be very lonely dough surrounded by people. Here people are not specially sociable, but there are many friendly nice people that you might bump into and end up interacting with.

Mariana Soffer said...

Harlequin:
I am glad you liked it.
Same as it happens to you as I get older I get more comfortable being with myself, and I am also loosing the need of being surrounded by other people.
The distinction is fundamental, here is a quote I like regarding it:'Language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.'
I understand the kind of loneliness you feel, it is the one you suffer from when loosing someone, and no matter how well you are with being by yourself, not having someone you use to always hurts and make you feel a certain loneliness.
Glad you liked the comments as well, I found most of them really sincere and interesting.
Take care my friend.

Anonymous said...

Have you been getting into the football, Mariana?

Robyn said...

Hello :)

I think that loneliness is a state of mind and not a location therefore depending on the individuals state of mind determines the extent of their online activity.

I doubt that the state of mind is created by the use of the internet though that is possible.
I think that most are lonely before using it.

A computer is a tool just like a telephone and not a master.

For me it is a creative tool.

I like what you share Mariana and I wish you much happiness
xx Robyn

Al-Snafyeh said...

lonliness will def. increase regardless of increase in social communication: cyber world creates an illusion of a healthy social life for people, they might learn to come forward in that imaginary world but not in reality. social media/commu. is there for people to connect on a superficial level (post ideas they can't express in reality, or work-related), not on a true deep emotional level, and that's why there are even more lonely people out there.

loved this post, thank you!

cerdotopia said...

interesante reflexion, que tiene mucho de cierto. pasamos tiempo tras una pantalla quizas por exceso de tiempo libre. y es un acto solitario, como la lectura y la escritura, que no se critican. el acto de socializar por las herramientas de social media ayuda a la idea de superar timidez... pero tambien logra crear una fantasia respecto de la existencia.

debe ser mejor vivir la vida en la vida misma; no obstante la existancia 2.0 permite conectar a personas que nunca hubiesen podido hacerlo, ya sea por prejuicio, por distancias, por falta de oportunidades. no quiero decir que sea bueno volverse adicto a la net; como decia kundera "la vida esta en otra parte", pero tambien tiene ventajas.

ofrezco, en un acto reflexivo, el hecho de que existen muchas actividades solitarias: lectura, escritura, trabajos, investigaciones. pero el pasar tras esta pantalla (como yo lo hago en este momento) tambien entrega evasion. quizas el mundo es una porqueria como reza el tango; quizas los nuevos ermitaños ya no deben arrancar a los cerros, montes... pero siempre sera "poco normal" aislarse. la soledad es perjudicial. nos permite contactacnos con nuestro self, pero nos impide relacionarnos. el punto medio, el equilibrio es lo politicamente correcto.

el uso de las plataformas de social media entrega una gratificacion que termina condicionando (condicionamiento operante) al sujeto. aislado, puede deteriorar sus propias relaciones cercanas.

todo es malo, sabes?

saludos...

Evita V. said...

Despues de mucho tiempo volví a entrar en los blogs que me gustaban. No fue una perdida de tiempo dejarme absorver un poco por el poder de la red. Interesante reflexión, me quedé con ganas de más.

saludos

kj said...

ah mariana, what a thoughtful post. i have pondered this question often. i have made friends through blogging (you included ♥) and i can now say they are genunine lasting friendships. but i also know i cannot should not replace or substitute my in person relationships: the ones where i am touched and i relish seeing a special smile in real time real place.

i think what is fundamentally missing is the basis of community, that being, tribes of 200 or less people with common interests, if only geography, who bond together, know one another. studies show that 200 is about our maximum for real relationships.

all this said, i do wonder about the time i spend on line. i am not someone who is content with blog comments only, in most cases. i;m looking to take the next step with people i care about: email, post cards, tokens of acknowledgement, maybe even a phone call or get together. of course this is not possible with special people around the world, so i look at that as an added gift in my already rich life.

love always mariana,
kj

andrea guiu said...

Hola Mariana! es un tema complejo, coincido en que la red potencia la comunicación, y es una herramienta prodigiosa en ese y otros sentidos, como la instantaneidad y versatilidad en la circulación de contenidos. Pero también es cierto que lo virtual nos aísla, al menos, del contacto "real", no necesariamente garantiza que la gente se sienta menos sola, y es la propia noción de intimidad que está en juego o quizás en crisis. Sin embargo, conozco varios casos (y en mi familia entre ellos) de personas que se conocieron a través de una red social y formaron pareja... La red les permitió ¨descubrirse¨ primero a través de las afinidades, y del perfil que cada uno o una quería mostrar al otro sin comprometer (aun) el cuerpo. El encuentro real vino después que hubieran decidido que valía la pena intentarlo... Un tema para seguir conversando y pensando. Tus envíos siempre contienen reflexiones enriquecedoras. Un abrazo grandote!

Mariana Soffer said...

Rob Bryanton:
Hello rob, hope you are doing ok.
Indeed the article from MR Carr is really interesting, thanks a lot for reffering me to it, Indeed I used to read his blog, that had some fantastic articles that talked arround several different topics: http://www.roughtype.com/, I also read his book Does IT matter a couple of years ago and found it great.
I also liked a lot what you said in your second paragraph, is great the connection you make.
And to end with let me tell you that I also think nowadays we need more than ever to engage in the things you suggest to enhance our lives.
Thanks a lot for your great insight.
M

Mariana Soffer said...

t:
I always enjoy your poetry/insights, let me add a line to this one:
Social Network contents derived marketing strategies.

Love

Mariana Soffer said...

Tape:
Elenor Rigby, what a marvelous song, it says it all, goes beyond the words.
Tambien acuerdo con tus pensamientos, pero creo que quizas estos problemas con el mundo interior son algunas veces exacerbados por los del mundo exterior. Who knows?

Mariana Soffer said...

Bryan Borland:
I guess how we use these things is the key, not the media in itself, what it counts is a complex interaction among ourselves and external reality, which each one has to tune in a proper way.

Mariana Soffer said...

anonymous:
I am not a big fan of football, I guess you ask due to my country performance in the world cup, but sorry if I disapoint you by telling you that I barely watch the games.

Mariana Soffer said...

Robyn:
Very interesting reflection, I completelly agree with it, you can check what I just comment to Bryan Borland:
"I guess how we use these things is the key, not the media in itself, what it counts is a complex interaction among ourselves and external reality, which each one has to tune in a proper way."
Thanks and take care

Mariana Soffer said...

Al-Snafyeh:
I really apreciate that you share your thoughts here, I think they are representative of a way a vast amount of people think. I do sometimes think that also, but indeed I am not sure that things are like that, I think there is a constant interaction between the states of human beings and the tools they produce, and they both retroaliment each other, so it is for me more complex indeed than what you say. Besides those tools can also promote social relations in some cases, by complimenting the traditional forms we used to communicate with.
I really value what you say here nonetheless.
Thanks and be well

Mariana Soffer said...

cerdotopia:
Siempre me alegra que visites el blog y aportes tus reflexiones que siempre logran ampliar mi panorama del tema que hablo.

Estoy completamente de acuerdo con lo que decis en el tercer parrafo, ademas siempre hubo y abra infinitos medios que podemos usar para evadirnos, casi cualquier cosa puede convertirse segun la forma en que lo usemos en uno.

Que final, todo es malo, pero yo le agregaria tambien que todo es bueno, y todo no es ni bueno ni malo. Un twist a tu reflexion de ultimo momento.

Carinios hombre

Mariana Soffer said...

Evita v:
Muchas gracias por tu lindo comentario, creo que leyendo alguna de las cosas que dicen los lectores aqui puedes satisfacer tu deseo de obtener mas.
Saludos

Mariana Soffer said...

KJ:
You are right, but remember you can not say either wether personal friendships are genuine as well, life give you bad suprises sadly regarding that.
Regarding the 200 people, I do not know if you heard but there is also the dumbar number that says we can relate to up to 600 people, no more space. There is a great debate about that that you can google and read about it in the net.
I think is a great way to consider online relationships (the way you describe it in the last paragraph) really positive and encouraging.
Thanks a lot KJ, and as always I send you lots of love and hope you are doing great

Mariana Soffer said...

andrea guiu:
Siertamente que es un tema complejo, creo que modifica la dinamica que existia previamente.
Me gusta la reflexion que aportas aqui, sobre los distintos aspectos (buenos y malos) de las social networks. Gracias por el aporte y por ayudar a pensar mejor el tema.
M

kj said...

be on the lookout for mail....

human being said...

less physicality
more mind...

and i like this!

this is what i experienced on the web...

i found some great friends on the web... that i trust... and i do not even know anything about their real names or lives...

i just say this is the truth of this person communicating with me... why not accepting it?

all those negative and poitive things happening on the web are existing in the real life too... in fact they have migrated from reality to this virtual world...

loneliness is one...

the only thing that makes us feel lonely is when we think we are the only one... world wide web helps us to see other people too...

they lie
they wear masks
they have fake personalities
they have several IDs
they steal
they boast
they kill
they ...

aren't they doing these in real life too?

the problem of lonliess has got its roots in some basic trends in our social life... starting from childhood and the first values people learn to live by...

putting the blame on computers is just a projection...


great post!

Tazeen said...

beautiful

ANNA-LYS said...

Great post, Mariana!

When we look upon new cultural tools, we use old definitions that have its roots in face to face (f2f) human communication. Doing that always leads us to compare and judge in our analyses of new phenomena's. Still, we can not bring forward our thoughts and results without well-known negotiated concepts. I think this dilemma must be high-lightened in all research upon distant communication and relations without getting caught in the other paradox, namely using mass-communicative analytic tools, where we look upon this from sender or receiver points of view.

Having said this - we need new theories that are grounded in this new way of being with others that are not there, or are they? :-) I do my best to contribute to this in my work.

Enjoy Your summer,

Anna-Lys

ANNA-LYS said...

Forget to say:
Beautiful picture You illustrate
Your post with here.

benjibopper said...

Just seems harder to escape the computer these days. Glad to say though that I got out tonight, for beers with other writers on the harbourfront, complete with fireworks. Reminded my why it's good to be alive.

Anonymous said...

Pretty cool place you've got here. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read more soon.

Julia Swenson

Anonymous said...

It is extremely interesting for me to read that blog. Thanks for it. I like such topics and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read a bit more soon.

Hilary Simpson

J said...

Hey Mariana, does this kick ass?

http://www.technologyreview.com/video/?vid=607

Klatuu o embuçado said...

Give me facts, not opinions and suppositions.

Jason Gusmann said...

hey mariana, are you still out there? everything OK? haven't heard from you for awhile!

Mariana Soffer said...

KJ:
Dear karen, I got really happy when I received your wonderful gift, you really surprised me, the pictured of the card was really lovely and the card was truly sweet. Let me tell you a coincidence that happen with it, my sister who lives in Spain just came to visit and she had the exact same moleskin you gave to me as a gift herself, and she uses it for an agenda, which of course is what I started doing myself. Hope your writings and your life are going really good. I myself have been kind of out of touch due to personal stuff, but I have been doing pretty well dough kind of bussy due to a new job, anyway I will be more than happy to start wondering around the blogosphere once again. Hope you keep writing your beautiful stories/poems and posts.
Take lots of care,
Sincerely wish you the best of the best
M

Mariana Soffer said...

human being:
I think that they are fantastic your reflections about the post, the ones before the poem you wrote, I could not agree with them more, I could not even express those thoughts as well as you did either.
I like what you say about loneliness migrating, it is really acurate.
And yes it is always easier to blame it on the technologies/tools, than to do some insight about how we function in our daily lifes and the roots that leads us to behave in such disfunctional ways.
Thanks a lot for such wanderfull colaboration to this writtings.
M

Mariana Soffer said...

Tazeen:
thanks for your kind and encouraging comment

Mariana Soffer said...

ANNA-LYS:
Really glad you liked it, and thanks a lot for collaborating with such wonderfull reflections to this posts.
I agree that standing on different paradigms to evaluate the topic we are discussing here leads to very different conclusions/analysis and evaluations of the subject we are dealing with. Hence is fundamental from where we start/ground our analysis to reach our final opinions/views on the subject.
I think we should put more emphasis on the care that should be taken for selecting where we will be stepping from the beginning.

Mariana Soffer said...

ANNA-LYS:
regarding the picture, I am happy that you appreciated it, I thought it was beautiful and quite representative of the subject.

Mariana Soffer said...

Benjibopper:
Computers are not the problem, forgetting to make life worth living, by doing things that make us feel alive is.

Mariana Soffer said...

Julia Swenson:
Welcome and thank you. You are more than welcome to share a little bit more about yourself.

Mariana Soffer said...

Hilary Simpson:
Glad you came, please let us know a little more about you, just to be able to interact better.

Mariana Soffer said...

J: Really neat link, I am a big fan of proper visualization of data. I

think it is really useful and needed nowadays and also a new kind of

art.

Mariana Soffer said...

Klatuu o embuçado: Do you think that facts are an absolute truth?
Do unquestionable/terminant arguments exist?

Mariana Soffer said...

Jason Gusmann: HeY jason, thank you very much for your concern, you

are such a kind guy. Just let me tell you that luckly I have been

doing pretty well. I just hadn't had enough time to participate/engage

in the blogosphere, But I am planning on doing it soon.

J said...

No problemo Mariana, nice to see you back.

Anonymous said...

Wow neat! This is a really great site! I am wondering if anyone else has come across something
exactly the same in the past? Keep up the great work!

Mariana Soffer said...

J;
Thank you very much, I really appreciate you being so understanding and kind.

Mariana Soffer said...

Anonymous:
Thank you very much, interesting question the one you proposed, I will think about it.

meeta said...

I am one of those people who are socially described as loners..but I am just a person who needs and respect her own space and silence...I feel that it's essential to have one's own space, to be able to hear one self out in present times of ultra fast paced life.
I would not blame social media or web for the isolation or loneliness phenomenon 'cuz I believe that this vast pool of information & the scope of interaction that the web provides us, not just helps us to enhance our knowledge but also helps us to grow in thought as a better human being..infact it provides to us a window to look at the big wide world and realize that we are not alone treading our difficult roads in life..there are many more of like us out there.

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Anonymous said...

Greetings,

This is a inquiry for the webmaster/admin here at singyourownlullaby.blogspot.com.

May I use some of the information from this blog post right above if I provide a backlink back to this website?

Thanks,
Jack

kierstyboon said...

Gosh, this was quite a moment for me. Firstly, thank you so much for stopping by my blog to comment and secondly, thank you for leading me to your thoughts here. The gentle conversation is calming but thought provoking and I'm grateful for it this evening.
And then I saw the comments on this one and saw the one from Paul. He had started making changes to his self-imposed isolation and I do believe that the internet gave him the confidence to do that. Me too. I wrote poems and stories for so many years and it was only by finding a readership on here that I was able to have the guts to go out and perform it. But it is making that step, that first step, when you are finally sick of the loss of the white noise humming when you switch the pc off. I do believe the computer condenses the best and worst of human behaviour and real people that you can touch and talk to, face to face, are the only leveller in all of that. I suppose I am living proof of that.

Thank you so much again. I have really enjoyed reading your posts.

Mariana Soffer said...

kierstyboon:
First of all I wanted to thank you very much for your wondeful comment.
I think you are right about the effect of internet interaction on people like us, I think in that sense it is a fantastic thing.
For example I never ever deared before to show anybody a poem written by me, I am/was too shy to do that, but by having this blog and so wonderful people that comment on it I dared to make public my first poem (I guess that being a native spanish speaker helps, I do not know why exposing myself in english somehow is easier for me) http://singyourownlullaby.blogspot.com/2010/02/poem.html, and It made me so so happy the marvelous responses I got from people about it.
Interesting thought about internet condensing human behaviours, I never thought it that way, but it is really interesting, I need to contemplate that possibility. I always thought that computers where just tools that are used for communicating and nothing more, that how the communication is does not change, but now I think I am wrong like marshall Mclachlan said "The message is the medium", well I do not think to that extreme but I do think that the medium does transoform the message now.

A pleasure reading you.
MS

Anonymous said...

I do not know if it's just me or if perhaps everybody else encountering problems with your blog. It seems like some of the text within your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know if this is happening to them as well? This might be a issue with my web browser because I've
had this happen before. Many thanks

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Mariana Soffer said...

Jack, sure by my guest, just quote my name or the blog please.